I've learnt to hate myself.
I hate what i've become.
What happend to the days,
when I said life was fun?
Now its my nightmare
My living hatefilled dream.
Trapped in a world,
Where nothings what it seams.
I used to think i was nice,
now i feel like a bitch.
I used to like the way i look,
now i look like a witch.
I used to controll my mentality,
now its out of controll.
I can't talk to you about this,
who's gona catch me,
now i fall.
The only thing im my life,
Is a friend thats insane.
with me going the same way,
who can you blame?
I take drugs,
I know that wont help.
but can you blame me?
theres noone that WANTS to help.
What happend to change,
the way i think?
what made me hate myself this way?
I looked in the mirror today and thought
"ugh what a sight you are!"
I've no ambition.
No confidence.
No love.
I just want a cuddle.
You here to love.
I don't want to spend my day with you,
on the grass just as stoned as you.
I want to do things,
cuddle all day.
Smile and laugh.
not stone the day away.
But that's just me,
You find that fun.
I just have to smile,
be confident and have fun.
Smoke some weed,
Drink some "pop",
Mess up my head,
It's not messed up enough.
I have to put up with a girl,
that so clearly hates me.
she's only being nice,
because your dateing me.
If I had half the chance,
I'd walk away.
the only reason I'm there,
is because you want me to stay.
My heads a mess,
or maybe It's my life.
I need to think,
To get things right.
I need to get my confidence,
So i can be who you want me to be.
but then agen,
Whay can't I be me?!
I'll ge my confidence,
Just bear with me,
You take rejection,
Much better than me.
I remember the days,
We used to lie on your bed.
Talk about things,
And then go red.
But thats just a memory,
So distant form now.
Now you just get stoned,
Then say i've been quiet.
Is your life so bad,
that you have to be constantly under the influence?
Remember what you said that night
" I wish ?I was dead so i could get away from all the shit you cause me"
So maybe I should leave.
So you can get away.
You don't have to die,
For what I've done to you.
You can stop takeing drugs.
Be happy and free,
And maybe meet someone,
much better than me.
I'll leave everyone,
parents too.
Because you two
Dislike me too.
I cause you pain,
You've said it yourself.
I know you love me,
but you'd be happier without me.
I'm just one big pain.
Hurt people as i go along.
This is what happend.
But where did I go wrong?